Redefining success for burnout recovery
It’s a strange moment when you realize that the very thing you’ve been striving for is the thing that’s chipping away at you. Success, for many, is the shining light at the end of a long, demanding tunnel. But for those of us who’ve been walking through that tunnel for what feels like forever, it might be time to pause and ask ourselves a simple, yet transformative question. Is my definition of success still serving me?
How Would You Define Success?
For years, my own idea of success was a heavy list of accomplishments. A ladder that didn’t seem to end. I’d been groomed to believe that success meant reaching specific milestones: titles, achievements, recognition. But if I’m being honest, I never really asked myself if that was my definition of success—or one I’d unconsciously inherited. After all, there’s a certain comfort in following a well-worn path. Even when it leads somewhere you don’t necessarily want to be.
But I started to question that definition in a way I couldn’t ignore anymore. Especially when my health began to unravel. I remember lying in bed, feeling my body’s weight like a lead blanket, and thinking, This can’t be it. I had succeeded by every measure I’d been taught to value, yet here I was, physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and feeling completely detached from any joy in what I was doing. It was in that moment that I started asking myself if my idea of success was outdated, or even if it was mine at all.
Redefining Success for Burnout Recovery: The House of Success We Inherit
Imagine success as a house we’re all handed when we’re young. It’s fully furnished, decorated, and comes with a set of instructions: “This is how you will live; these are the rooms you’ll occupy.” For some, this house is big, full of expectations to always do more, be more. The rooms echo with reminders of what others expect: stability, power, recognition, wealth. We often move in without even questioning if this is the house we’d choose to build ourselves.
Growing up, I had my own “house of success” shaped by the people and cultures around me. In many ways, I had no reason to question it; everyone else seemed to live in similar houses. Yet, looking back, I realize I was simply moving through rooms I’d inherited rather than spaces I’d consciously chosen.
But there comes a time when the furniture starts feeling uncomfortable, the decorations outdated, or worse, the whole foundation starts to feel shaky. This is often where burnout begins—trying to maintain someone else’s version of success within a structure that doesn’t fit our needs.
A New Way to Look at Success
One day, while grappling with a chronic health flare-up, I realized that the vision of success I was clinging to required a level of energy and resilience I simply didn’t have. That moment brought a strange kind of clarity. What if success wasn’t about pushing until I was too exhausted to keep going? What if it was about finding a way to live that honored my limits, my strengths, and what I actually valued?
As a metaphor, let’s think of success like a garden. The type of garden you create depends on your climate, your soil, your resources, and your personal preferences. Some people thrive with meticulously pruned rose gardens, structured and curated. Others find joy in wildflower meadows that grow freely, adapting as nature dictates.
Success doesn’t have to look one way. For years, I was trying to grow roses in soil meant for wildflowers. And as you can imagine, I was left wondering why my roses never seemed to bloom like everyone else’s.
Reflecting on Your Own Garden of Success
If you’re feeling the weight of overwhelm or nearing burnout, maybe it’s time to check in with your garden. Here are some questions I started asking myself, and perhaps they’ll help you, too:
- What actually feels meaningful to you? Success tied to your core values can feel grounding, even on challenging days. For me, I realized that supporting others and creating meaningful change felt deeply rewarding, but not in the way I’d imagined. I didn’t need the traditional markers of success to know I was making an impact.
- How do you want to feel when you succeed? Often, we’re so focused on the outcomes that we don’t consider the feelings associated with them. Does success feel peaceful, or does it feel like running a marathon you can never finish?
- Are there parts of your success vision that you’re carrying just because others told you to? We’re often surrounded by people’s expectations, and it’s easy to adopt them as our own. Try setting down what doesn’t serve you and notice how it feels.
- Is your success sustainable? If you’re running on fumes or constantly sacrificing your well-being, that’s a clear signal something needs to change. Success should build you up, not break you down.
Redefining Success for Burnout Recovery on Your Terms
Redefining success doesn’t mean throwing away all that you’ve worked for. It’s more like swapping out parts of the furniture in that house, or maybe even tearing down a wall or two to open up new possibilities.
Sometimes, it’s helpful to visualize this process as a gentle remodeling project. Rather than feeling pressured to overhaul everything at once, start by changing one room. Maybe you take that “productivity” room and reframe it with ideas around joy and fulfillment. It doesn’t mean you stop being productive; it just means you make space for moments that recharge you, too.
Finding Clarity in Small Steps to Redefining Success for Burnout Recovery
Redefining success doesn’t mean overnight change. Sometimes, it’s as small as letting yourself celebrate a quiet victory—a mindful decision, a small boundary set, or a day where you listened to your body’s needs. For me, learning to listen to myself instead of forcing myself to meet arbitrary standards was like planting those first wildflower seeds. Small, almost unnoticeable, but over time they started to bloom in ways that felt natural and fulfilling.
Success as a Feeling, Not a Finish Line
As I’ve evolved my own definition, I’ve noticed that success, for me, has less to do with milestones and more to do with a sense of alignment. When I check in with myself and feel at peace with my choices, that’s success. When I help others navigate their challenges and see them find hope again, that’s success. My garden doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s, and neither does yours.
Success isn’t a one-size-fits-all destination; it’s a journey shaped by the choices you make and the values you hold dear. Whether you’re just planting the seeds or are well on your way, remember that your garden is yours to cultivate. And if the roses don’t bloom, maybe it’s time to let the wildflowers grow instead.
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