How to create calm as a highly sensitive person

How to create calm as a highly sensitive person

How to create calm as a highly sensitive person in Our Chaotic Modern World

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how hard it is to find calm. Especially when you’re highly sensitive and constantly tuned in to everything going on around you. Let’s be real: the world feels overwhelming. There are days when it seems like every news notification is a new crisis—fires, floods, wars, political upheaval, economic instability. It’s a lot. And as someone who identifies as a highly sensitive high achiever, I feel this overwhelm on a cellular level. It’s not just stressful; it’s a deep, pervasive sense of unease that seems impossible to shake.

For me, it’s more than just the typical anxiety that comes from being aware of the chaos. I also struggle with OCD, and keeping that in check is its own full-time job. It’s so easy to fall into the compulsive habit of checking the news. It starts innocently enough. Just a quick glance to see what’s happening—but before I know it, I’m down a rabbit hole, refreshing page after page, searching for some sense of control or reassurance that things aren’t as bad as they seem. Spoiler: they usually are, or at least the headlines make it feel that way.

But why is it so hard for highly sensitive high achievers like us to create calm, especially when we need it most? It’s not just about external stressors; there’s more going on beneath the surface. I’ve come to realize that a lot of the difficulty stems from a mix of learned behaviors and deeply ingrained personality traits that make it feel like we’re always in battle with the world around us.

Calm isn’t something you find when the world slows down; it’s something you create when you choose to slow down.. How to create calm as a highly sensitive person

1. We’ve Been Conditioned to Be On Alert

One of the biggest hurdles is that we’ve learned to be hyper-vigilant. This didn’t happen overnight; it’s been ingrained in us for years. Whether it’s from family dynamics, past experiences, or just navigating life as a highly sensitive person, we’ve been conditioned to be constantly on alert. We’re always scanning for danger—emotional, physical, mental. We’re the ones who anticipate problems before they arise. Who feel responsible for catching every potential issue before it becomes a disaster.

This hyper-vigilance becomes a way of life. Our nervous systems are perpetually in overdrive, and it’s hard to turn that off. For me, this shows up as an underlying anxiety that I can’t quite shake, even on “good” days. When the world feels like it’s falling apart, my brain is already 10 steps ahead. Imagining all the ways it could get worse. It’s a survival mechanism, but it’s exhausting. And when you’ve spent your entire life in this state, trying to create calm feels almost impossible because you’ve forgotten what it’s like to truly relax.

2. The Perfectionism Trap: How to create calm as a highly sensitive person

Highly sensitive high achievers tend to fall into the perfectionism trap. We set impossibly high standards for ourselves and often feel like we’re never quite measuring up. For me, this perfectionism can sneak into my daily routine in subtle ways. Like when I feel I have to know *everything* that’s going on in the world to feel prepared. It’s not just a desire for knowledge; it’s the feeling that if I don’t keep up, I’m failing in some way. It’s irrational, but it’s there.

This perfectionism makes creating calm incredibly challenging because we don’t allow ourselves the space to be imperfect. We’re constantly pushing ourselves, striving to be better, do more, and stay on top of everything. Rest feels indulgent, and in a world that’s always on, we feel the pressure to be on as well. The truth is, we can’t create calm if we’re always running on high alert, but letting go of that need to be perfect is easier said than done.

The more we try to control the chaos around us, the more out of control we feel inside. How to create calm as a highly sensitive person

3. The Need for Control

Another reason calm is so elusive for people like us is the deep need for control. When the world feels unpredictable, we grasp at anything we can control. Whether it’s our work, our routines, or—like in my case—how often we check the news. My OCD makes this particularly tricky because it’s so easy for my brain to latch onto the idea that if I just check one more article, I’ll feel better. But the reality is that the more I try to control things, the more out of control I feel.

This need for control isn’t just about external things. It’s also about how we manage our inner world. We try to control our emotions, our reactions, and how we present ourselves to others. We want to appear calm and collected, even when we’re crumbling inside. This disconnect between how we feel and how we show up in the world only adds to the internal chaos. Making it harder to find any real sense of calm.

4. We Absorb the Energy Around Us

As highly sensitive people, we absorb the energy of the world around us, whether we want to or not. This can be a beautiful gift when we’re in a positive, peaceful environment, but let’s face it—the world right now is anything but peaceful. The constant barrage of negative news, the polarization of society, and the general sense of unrest seep into us, even if we’re not actively paying attention. It’s like the air around us is charged with anxiety, and we’re the lightning rods, pulling it all in.

I’ve had to become hyper-aware of this in my own life. Especially when my anxiety spikes after too much news consumption. There are times when I feel the weight of the world’s problems so deeply that it’s hard to focus on anything else. It’s a heavy burden to carry, and it’s one that we often don’t even realize we’re holding until it becomes too much.

Our nervous systems were built for survival, but in a world that’s always on, they’ve forgotten how to rest.

5. Our Identity Is Tied to Productivity

For high achievers, calm can feel counterproductive. We’ve been taught that success is tied to how much we produce. How busy we are, and how much we accomplish. In a world that glorifies hustle culture, taking a step back to rest feels like failure. There’s a constant voice in the back of our heads telling us that we should be doing more, achieving more, and staying ahead of the game.

This internalized belief makes it hard to slow down, even when we desperately need it. Rest feels unproductive, and calm feels like something we’ll get to once we’ve checked everything off our to-do list. But the truth is, there’s always more to do, and waiting until everything is done to find calm is a recipe for burnout.

We can’t create calm if we’re always waiting for the world to get less chaotic. The real work is learning to let go, even for a moment.

How to create calm as a highly sensitive person

So, where does that leave us? Creating calm in the chaos is an ongoing challenge. But I’ve learned that it’s not about finding some magical solution that makes the world feel less overwhelming. It’s about acknowledging the ways we’ve been conditioned to stay in a state of alert and gently retraining our minds to let go, even if just for a moment.

For me, this means setting boundaries with my news consumption. Recognizing when I’m slipping into compulsive behaviors, and giving myself permission to rest, even when it feels uncomfortable. It’s not easy, and it’s definitely not perfect, but it’s a step toward creating the calm we all so desperately need.

In the end, the world isn’t going to slow down anytime soon, but we can. We can learn to prioritize our well-being over productivity, give ourselves grace when we don’t have all the answers, and remind ourselves that it’s okay to step back and breathe.

Creating calm isn’t a one-time thing; it’s a practice. And as with any practice, it takes time, patience, and a lot of self-compassion. But it’s worth it because in the middle of all this chaos, we deserve to feel calm too.

The hardest part about finding calm? Letting go of the belief that we have to have it all together first.

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5 Reasons Why It’s So Hard for Highly Sensitive High Achievers to Create Calm in Our Chaotic Modern World