Modern Signs of Fight Flight Freeze and Fawn – and Why This New Definition Matters

Modern signs of fight flight freeze and fawn.

I think it’s really important to recognize what the modern signs of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn look like. We often hear about them spoken of in their primal forms (what our stress response was initially designed for). But our modern day stressors don’t go away, do they?

Sometimes it feels like we’re all living on high alert, as if the stakes are life-or-death when all we’re doing is trying to make it through the day. If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. So many of us live in a kind of constant survival mode without even realizing it.

There’s a reason for this. Buried deep in our bodies is a stress switch—a part of us that’s designed to flick “on” when we’re in danger. When we’re genuinely at risk, this response is crucial. But somewhere along the way, many of us end up with that stress switch jammed in the “on” position, making every day feel like an emergency. And instead of realizing this as unusual, we start thinking it’s normal to be on edge all the time. But here’s a hint—it’s not.

Let’s explore what modern-day fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses look like. Recognizing these can help us start to understand why we’re so tired, even if we’re “just” sitting at a desk.

Fight Mode: Armoring Up for Battle

When I think of fight mode in the modern day, I picture someone with a shield and sword, ready to defend themselves at the drop of a hat. Except, instead of medieval armor, it might look like someone snapping at their partner over a harmless comment, or a person getting defensive during a work meeting because they feel criticized. It’s that constant sense of “I have to protect myself,” even if there’s no visible threat.

Once, I had a friend who couldn’t stand when people doubted her abilities. She’d go out of her way to prove herself—even when no one asked for proof. She was “fighting” against an invisible opponent, always trying to be ready to “win.” This drained her more than she realized. Her mind never rested because it was too busy staying alert for the next challenge, even in her downtime. She later realized that she was in fight mode, but instead of saving her energy for actual battles, she was spending it in tiny, unnecessary defenses every day.

Flight Mode: Running from Shadows

Flight mode is less about physically running and more about avoiding what feels overwhelming. I used to work with someone who could never seem to start a big project. She’d organize her desk, write and rewrite lists, or suddenly “need” a coffee break. In her mind, she was being productive. But in reality, she was running away from the project itself.

In modern-day life, flight mode can look like constantly staying busy as a way to avoid what feels big and scary. It could be a conversation we’re dreading, a responsibility we’re not sure we can handle, or even just a nagging feeling that we’re not where we want to be in life. We don’t have to physically leave the room to be in flight mode; our minds and hearts can be trying to escape, leaving us mentally “checked out” even if our body is right there. And while it feels like we’re getting away from stress, this kind of avoidance keeps us running, burning through our energy.

Modern Signs of Fight Flight Freeze and Fawn – Freeze Mode: Stuck in Place

Freeze mode is like being on the verge of action but never quite moving forward. I had a client that needed to make a decision to make about their career that felt huge. They spent hours—days—trying to weigh the pros and cons. They felt trapped in this endless loop, unable to make a choice, as if moving forward in any direction might end badly. Once we worked to re-regulate their nervous system with the Restore Program they were able to make a decision that aligned with what they wanted for their life, and ultimately worked out beautifully for them.

Many of us end up in freeze mode when life feels too big or uncertain. We end up in “analysis paralysis,” overthinking every little thing because we’re afraid of choosing wrong. It’s like pressing the “pause” button, but without any sense of relief. We’re frozen not because we’re resting, but because we’re unsure, and our energy ends up sapped by the endless decision-making that goes nowhere.

Fawn Mode: Pleasing to Keep the Peace

Fawn mode is probably the most subtle of these responses. It’s the need to smooth things over and keep everyone happy, even at the cost of our own well-being. I remember a time when I was so afraid of disappointing others that I’d say “yes” to almost anything. Even if I was already stretched thin, I’d still go out of my way to help others or agree to plans, because the thought of someone being upset with me was worse than the stress I was piling onto myself.

If you’ve ever felt this way—like it’s your job to make everyone else comfortable—you’ve likely been in fawn mode. The tricky part is, this people-pleasing takes a toll on our energy reserves, leaving little for ourselves. And over time, we start to lose touch with our own needs, focused instead on making sure everyone else is okay.

Modern Signs of Fight Flight Freeze and Fawn: The “Stress Switch” That Never Flips Off

Imagine a light switch stuck in the “on” position. At first, it might not be a big deal. But as the days go by, that constant light starts to wear out the bulb. In our case, the “light” is our energy and focus, which can’t sustain itself if we’re always in a heightened state. Our body’s stress response system wasn’t designed to stay on forever—it’s meant for quick bursts of energy to help us survive. But in today’s world, we often leave that switch on, without even realizing it.

When our body remains in this alert mode, stress hormones like cortisol stay in our system, keeping us “on” even when there’s no real threat. Instead of bringing clarity or sharpness, this constant state of stress leaves us feeling foggy and worn out. It’s the reason why you might feel tired all the time, even if you’re getting enough sleep, or why focusing on simple tasks can feel like climbing a mountain.

Why This “On” Mode Isn’t Sustainable

Imagine trying to drive a car without ever stopping to fill up the gas tank or take a rest. Eventually, something’s going to give. Living with our stress switch always on is just like that—it pushes us to the brink without any room to refuel or slow down. We might be surviving, but we’re not thriving. Constantly being “on” isn’t normal, and it’s not something our bodies can sustain long-term. If you’re feeling burned out, always on edge, or just plain tired, it could be a sign that your stress switch has been flipped on for too long.

Modern Signs of Fight Flight Freeze and Fawn: Taking the First Step

If any of this resonates with you, you’re not alone. These stress responses are deeply human, and they show up for all of us in different ways. The key is to notice them, get curious about what’s driving them, and start taking small steps to care for yourself in the process.

One way to begin is by understanding your own stress patterns more deeply.