How to Stop Feeling Stuck – By Choosing Not to Move Just Yet
I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on what it means to feel “stuck.” It’s easy to think that being stuck is something to push through as quickly as possible, something to fix or conquer. But what if that’s not always the right answer? I’m beginning to realize that sometimes, staying put and embracing that stuckness can actually lead us to something far more valuable. Clarity about what we really want and what we’re truly capable of.
A few years ago, I had to make the painful decision to leave my role as an ICU nurse. This wasn’t just a job—it was a purpose, a way of life. In the ICU, I had control over every detail, every second, and it felt like the most important thing I could do with my time. But as my health declined, it became clear that I couldn’t continue. My body was telling me that this role, as meaningful as it was, was no longer sustainable. And yet, I struggled to let it go.
After I left the ICU, I carried that sense of control with me. As if holding on to it could somehow keep me tied to that purpose. I found myself drawn to routines, habits, and even thought patterns that kept me in a state of control. Kept wondering why I felt so stuck, and it took me a while to realize that part of me didn’t actually want to move forward. I didn’t want to admit that the life I had built around control and purpose was no longer possible.
Sometimes, when we’re feeling stuck, it’s a sign that we’re pushing ourselves toward something we’re not ready for—or something we don’t truly want. I used to think that moving forward was the only way to grow, but I’ve come to see that staying still can be just as powerful. When I slowed down and sat with the discomfort, I began to realize that my “stuck” feelings were trying to tell me something. I wasn’t meant to continue down the same path.
This period of stagnation gave me the time and space to look more closely at what I was chasing and why. Was I holding onto control out of fear? Was I avoiding the reality that my health had changed, that I was no longer able to live the life I had before? Staying stuck allowed me to pause and reflect, to ask myself whether I was pushing toward something that didn’t align with who I was becoming. In that pause, I could finally hear the truth I had been avoiding.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if we just work harder, if we just keep pushing, everything will fall into place. But sometimes, we’re pushing toward a version of ourselves that no longer exists. For me, staying stuck was a way of protecting myself from acknowledging that I wasn’t the person I used to be. I didn’t want to admit that the life I had known, the purpose I had embraced, was no longer mine to live.
This realization wasn’t easy to come by. It took time, a lot of self-compassion, and a willingness to sit with feelings I had been trying to avoid. But once I allowed myself to stay put, to stop rushing toward something that didn’t fit anymore, I could finally see what my body and mind had been telling me all along: that it was okay to change directions. It was okay to stop pushing and start listening.
Instead of forcing myself to get “unstuck,” I began to explore what staying put could teach me. I started asking myself questions about what I actually wanted. What was truly aligned with my values, my health, and my current reality. I allowed myself to explore what was beneath that need for control, and what I found was a desire for safety and certainty. But in trying to force that control, I was actually keeping myself trapped.
When we’re able to embrace staying stuck as a form of self-reflection, we can learn a lot about ourselves. We can begin to recognize the goals we’re chasing out of habit or fear, and we can give ourselves permission to pause and reassess. Maybe we’re not ready for the next step because it’s not what we genuinely want, or maybe it’s simply not the right time. In staying still, we can reconnect with what truly matters and redefine what we’re moving toward to.
I’ve realized that staying stuck can be a self-protective choice, a way of giving ourselves space to process and regroup. We often feel the urge to move forward quickly, to make changes, to fix whatever feels wrong. But sometimes, staying where we are is exactly what we need to realign with our own pace. To release the pressure, and to listen to what our bodies and minds are telling us.
In my case, my body was signaling to me that the path I had been on was no longer sustainable. Moving forward without listening to that would have been self-sabotage. By choosing to stay put, I could begin to unpack the old patterns of control that were no longer serving me. I could start building a new path that honored who I am now, not who I was in the past.
So if you’re feeling stuck, I encourage you to consider that it might not be a failure. It might not even be something you need to change right now. Instead, see it as an opportunity to sit with yourself and ask what staying put is teaching you. What are you holding onto, and why? Are you pushing yourself toward something that doesn’t align with who you are today?
Staying stuck doesn’t mean giving up. It means giving yourself time to understand what you truly need and want. It’s an invitation to slow down and to reconnect with your deeper self. When you’re ready to move forward, you’ll do so not because you feel pressured to keep up, but because you’ve taken the time to understand what matters. And that kind of movement—grounded in self-awareness and authenticity—is where true freedom lies.
By reframing stagnation as an intentional choice, you’re inviting yourself to be exactly where you need to be. And from that place, the path forward becomes a lot clearer. A lot kinder, and a lot more aligned with who you are meant to be, and learn how to stop feeling stuck.
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