Finding calm amidst chaos can be really challenging especially since life and the world that we live in is inherently chaotic. For us highly sensitive high achievers, the constant noise and non-stop pace of life can really drain us. It often leaves us wanting to escape – to pause and take time away from everything. To zone out and just not feel or think about anything for a little while. To disconnect from ourselves.
On the other hand, what if the key to creating more calm lies not in escaping the chaos, but in understanding and embracing our true Self? The capital ‘S’ Self? It’s said that you can’t fix a problem from the same perspective that created it or is perpetuating it. This is where the ancient Vedic concept of Atman and the path of Jnana yoga intersect with the modern therapeutic framework of Internal Family Systems (IFS), offering a roadmap to inner peace and clarity.
The Daily Pause: A Window to the Self
Every day, I try to take a moment for myself. A simple reset, usually outside, where I allow my mind to race freely. It’s like letting a bunch of excited dogs loose in the backyard. While I sit still, observing their frenzied energy without getting caught up in it. This mostly daily practice isn’t traditional meditation where you’re trying to quiet the mind; it’s more of a mental free-for-all that somehow leads to a profound stillness within.
As I watch my thoughts zoom around, I find clarity. I realize that I am not my thoughts. I am the observer, the still point amid the mental chaos. This realization, subtle yet powerful, aligns with the essence of Atman—the true Self that is unchanging and eternal, distinct from the transient experiences and thoughts that usually define us. In these moments, I find the calm center within me, a place objectively observing what’s going on around me.
It’s a simple practice, but a profoundly helpful one. Taking this daily pause allows me to step back from the whirlwind of my high achieving brain and view it with a kind of detached curiosity. I notice patterns, recurring themes, and the underlying anxieties that often drive my thoughts. By acknowledging these without judging myself for feeling these ways, I create a space for calm clarity.
But before I was able to step back and sit quietly while my brain ran wild – I had to first discover how to connect with my true Self. That’s where Internal Family Systems came in.
The Inner Landscape: Navigating with Internal Family Systems
My journey with Internal Family Systems began as I started healing from childhood trauma. IFS introduced me to the concept of internal parts—different aspects of myself that play various roles, often as protectors or exiles. Nevertheless, I didn’t even realize the long lasting impact this model of psychology was going to have on me. Learning to separate myself from these parts was equal parts terrifying and freeing at the same time. It helped me reconnect with the sensitive child within me, the one forced to grow up too fast, and the one who is, in reality, completely normal, beautiful, and deserving of compassion.
IFS also became a powerful ally in my more recent struggle with OCD. By recognizing that the intrusive thoughts were just one part of me that was scared—not the entirety of my being—I could engage with them differently. I could see them as a part trying to protect me, albeit in a misguided way, rather than a reflection of my true Self. This ability to separate mySelf from the intrusive thoughts sped up my exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, allowing me to manage my OCD more effectively much faster.
IFS taught me that these internal parts, no matter how disruptive, have their own stories and reasons for being. They emerged to protect me, to shield me from pain, even if their methods were counterproductive. By engaging with them compassionately, I began to heal. The sensitive child, once exiled and dismissed, found a voice again. The overprotective parts, once dominant and overwhelming, learned to trust in my ability to navigate life without constant interference. This is why I have continued to learn about this methodology so that I can use it with my clients and in my group programs.
Naming the Parts: A Path to Self-Compassion in Finding Calm amidst Chaos
Understanding that the Self is separate from our experiences is so important. I can see my experiences, ingrained beliefs and defensive mechanisms as parts of me, but not the true me. They are like those dogs with the zoomies in my backyard—active and present, but not defining my core Self.
This perspective fosters self-compassion. It reminds me that while these conditions affect my life, they do not define my worth or my true identity. They are parts to be understood and managed, not enemies to be eradicated.
One of the ways I do this is by naming my chronic illnesses. This allows me to communicate with them in a way that feels more accepting and kind, rather than medicalized and wishing they weren’t here. My OCD is called Herbert because that name makes me think of someone that’s like the purple Fear character in Inside Out. When I hear some intrusive thoughts popping in I can say “Hello, Herbert, I see you’re here today. We’re going to move forward together.”
This is what I mean when I say you sometimes have to pick up your fear and carry it with you while you still do the scary thing. I acknowledge this part of me that is scared about whatever Herbert (my OCD) is fixated on lately, and give it compassion. Because all parts of me deserve compassion. This approach transforms my relationship with these conditions from one of conflict to one of collaboration.
Finding Calm amidst Chaos: The Vedic Roots of Internal Family Systems
The thing is, though, that although Internal Family Systems are a modern psychology model – it is not a modern concept. In fact, there are a lot of similarities between Internal Family Systems and the Vedic concept of Atman.
Atman, in Vedic philosophy, refers to the true Self, the unchanging, eternal essence that resides within each of us. It is distinct from our transient thoughts, emotions, and experiences and it is not our body.
Similarly, IFS teaches us to recognize and connect with our core Self, separate from the various parts that arise due to life’s experiences and traumas. This connection allows us to see our internal parts as aspects of our psyche that need understanding and compassion, not as definitive of who we are.
The idea that there is a central Self, or Atman, aligns with the IFS concept of a core Self that is calm, curious, and compassionate. By nurturing this core Self, we can navigate our internal landscape with greater clarity and peace, much like the principles found in Jnana yoga.
Embracing Atman, the True Self, for Lasting Calm
So you see, by learning how to connect to the Atman or the True Self, we can sit in the middle of the chaos and not feel like a part of it. It’s not about escaping or taking a break (although those can help in the short term). The real secret is to learn how to not be affected by the chaos at all but always look into finding calm amidst chaos.
Okay, so maybe sometimes it will still affect you – but the majority of the time you’ll be able to step back from it and observe.
Recognizing that our thoughts, emotions, and even our conditions are merely parts of our experience—not our entire identity. Offers a profound shift in perspective. By naming and personifying these parts, we create a compassionate dialogue within ourselves, transforming inner conflict into collaboration. This practice helps us learn to observe our internal world with curiosity and kindness.
Based on the ancient Vedic concept of Atman, we can guide ourselves toward a state of Finding Calm amidst Chaos. And that, my friend, is what Inner Stillness Outer Chaos is all about.
References:
1. Atman in Vedic Philosophy:
- Sharma, Arvind. *Classical Hindu Thought: An Introduction*. Oxford University Press, 2000. (https://www.oxfordscholarship.com/view/10.1093/0195644419.001.0001/acprof-9780195644418)
- Radhakrishnan, Sarvepalli. *The Principal Upanishads*. HarperCollins, 1992. (https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-principal-upanishads-sarvepalli-radhakrishnan)
- Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy – Atman (https://iep.utm.edu/atman/)
- Gupta, Bina. *An Introduction to Indian Philosophy: Perspectives on Reality, Knowledge, and Freedom*. Routledge, 2011. (https://www.routledge.com/An-Introduction-to-Indian-Philosophy-Perspectives-on-Reality-Knowledge-and/Gupta/p/book/9780415800034)
2. Internal Family Systems (IFS):
- Schwartz, Richard C. *Internal Family Systems Therapy*. The Guilford Press, 1997. (https://www.guilford.com/books/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy/Richard-Schwartz/9781572302723)
- Internal Family Systems Institute (https://ifs-institute.com)
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