Attachment styles

We all have unique ways of connecting with others, and establishing boundaries (or a lack of boundaries) in relationships. These patterns or attachment styles, which are rooted in our early experiences, play a crucial role in shaping who we are and how we achieve work-life balance… or not and eventually end up burnt out

Meditation for High Achievers

Meditation is tough, especially when you’re a high achiever. Stay with me while we talk about meditation for high achievers
There, I said it.
I’ve been practicing meditation for almost 20 years and it’s still wickedly hard for me to do.

Dealing with Frustration: Lessons from a Highly Sensitive Person

Picture of a hand holding tight on a rail which symbolizes resilience with the text "Dealing with Frustration: Lessons from a Highly Sensitive Person"

By now, you’ll know that I’m a highly sensitive person and a crier. I quickly burst into tears, especially when frustration gets the better of me. One of my core values is persistence, so I don’t know how to give up. I think I struggle with dealing with frustration because it feels like I’m failing. Like letting something else win. Not that I’m an overly competitive person. But if something stops me from achieving something I want to do – it’s now my enemy. And I need to defeat it.

The Secret Behind Effective Burnout Recovery Strategies

picture of lightbulbs to symbolize energy with the text "The Secret Behind Effective Burnout Recovery Strategies

When I first learned about burnout I heard it was a stress management problem. Essentially it was too much stress and not enough coping strategies to deal with all that stress. But after my own epic burnout experience, I realized that way of perceiving burnout was wrong. The truth is, burnout is not a stress management problem. It’s an energy management problem. And that completely changes the way we look at burnout recovery strategies.

Trauma Informed Vulnerability

trauma informed vulnerability - becoming avery - Avery Thatcher - Inner Stillness Outer Chaos podcast

I’ve come to the conclusion that the typical discussion around vulnerability isn’t actually trauma informed or inclusive, and I think that needs to change.

The Art of Setting Boundaries

The typical approach to boundaries – you know, the one that’s all about telling people what you need and then washing your hands of the outcome – might not be serving us as well as we think.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t set boundaries – boundaries themselves are incredibly helpful and necessary if we want to create more calm in our life. 

But how we set the boundary is almost as important as the boundary itself.

How to cope with and regulate your emotions as a highly sensitive person

When people talk about regulating emotions as a highly sensitive person, they often use the pot of water heating up on the stove analogy. In this scenario, by suppressing your emotions it’s like you’re trying to hold down the lid on this boiling pot of water, but eventually the pressure from the steam gets to be too much and it pushes out in a little burst.
I don’t like this analogy though because it seems to only speak to the emotions we typically label as negative. But if we truly want to honour ourselves as a highly sensitive person, then we need to feel all of our emotions.
So instead of thinking of it as a boiling pot of water, I like to think of it as holding onto apples. Find out what I mean in this episode.

Beyond Masculinity and Femininity: Redefining Balance Without Gendered Terms

finding the balance between masculinity and femininity

A little while ago, a client of mine shared that they were at odds with themselves because they didn’t feel ‘masculine enough’ and that they operated ‘too much in the feminine’ energy. But at the same time, they didn’t want to be caught up in the culture of toxic masculinity either. They noticed that I had a Yin Yang symbol in one of my tattoos and asked what I thought about the idea of finding a balance between the masculine and the feminine.

Because I believe in the power of words, I told them, “Instead of talking about masculine and feminine, let’s talk about the Inner Warrior and the Inner Poet.”

Ong Namo: How I started decolonizing my yoga practice

how I began decolonizing my yoga practice

Yoga has absolutely changed my life, but not solely from the mat based asana practice. However, when I was first introduced to yoga that’s all I knew it to be! Yoga was where you went to feel calm, stretch and maybe get stronger depending on the class that you signed up for. Only after completing my yoga teacher training and teaching for a while did I encounter the complexities of Westernized yoga, which led me to question my role in perpetuating cultural appropriation. As my beloved practice crashed down around me, I was left to navigate the intersection of spirituality as an atheist, privilege as a disabled white woman, and authenticity in my desire to honor the true essence of yoga. This is a story of evolution, reflection, and the pursuit of truth.

Three Little Birds – The power of changing anxiety what if’s to even if’s

Three Little Birds - the power of changing anxiety's what if's in to even if's

I’m a few weeks into the Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) for my OCD, which I’ve talked about in the last few posts, so if you’re curious what that’s all about check it out here and here. Basically it’s a way to lean into the anxiety, rather than do something to try and calm it or make it go away.
Turns out this is especially helpful with OCD because my obsessive thoughts only get more and more intense (and creative) the more I try and make the anxiety go away.
It’s been a really interesting learning experience for me for how I manage all of my anxiety, not just the OCD related anxiety, and it really came to a whole new level of clarity for me last week.